Couples Therapy
reconnect, communicate, and grow together — in Victoria, BC
Support for couples who want to understand each other better, work through conflict, and build a stronger relationship.
Overview
a supported, neutral space to work through what feels stuck
Couples therapy provides a safe space to explore areas of your relationship that feel stuck and learn the skills necessary to improve its overall health and wellness.
It uses practical tools grounded in researched-backed approaches to improve relationship health. Areas that can be addressed include:
- Communication and recurring conflict
- Feelings of disconnection
- Rebuilding trust and intimacy
- Major life transitions — marriage, parenthood, relocation, illness, retirement
- Divorce and separation care
Our Approach
We consider each client’s individual concerns and experiences and work to tailor treatments to your particular needs and therapeutic goals.
Learn More
Keeping a relationship strong typically takes a significant amount of intention and effort. Unfortunately, many people are not taught the skills necessary to achieve this nor do they know where to go to seek out this information.
Couples therapy — also called couples counselling, marriage counselling, or relationship therapy — is designed to help you and your partner acquire the skills needed to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship. At Acacia, our clinician draws on two of the most established, research-backed approaches:
- The Gottman Method — developed over decades of research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, it focuses on the patterns that drive conflict and the habits that build lasting connection.
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) — one of the most researched couples approaches, EFT focuses on the emotional bond between partners, helping you understand the cycle that pulls you apart and rebuild a secure connection.
- Clearer, calmer communication
- Tools to break out of recurring conflict cycles
- Increased levels of connection and intimacy
- Psychoeducation regarding healthy relationships
Each couple is unique and carries with them their own strengths and struggles. While each story is unique, there are some commonly occurring relational patterns that bring people into couples counselling.
Communication breakdown and recurring conflicts
Couples often find themselves caught in repetitious conflicts with little resolve. The Gottman Method seeks to shift the perspective around conflict and its role in a relationship, bringing awareness to some of the unhelpful communication patterns that couples fall into. Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling are what the Gottman’s call the “Four Horsemen” all of which escalate conflict and break down communication. Within their model they offer up four antidotes that help move us away from ruptures within the relationship and into repair.
Feeling disconnected
Sometimes nothing is obviously wrong, but the closeness is gone — more roommates than partners. Using an EFT lens, therapy helps you understand the cycle behind the distance and rebuild the emotional bond underneath it.
Rebuilding trust after an affair
Recovering from a betrayal is hard, but it is possible. Couples therapy offers a safe, non-judgmental space to understand and process what happened, and then decide how to move forward.
Couples also come to therapy for intimacy concerns, navigating major life transitions, parenting or blended-family differences, preparing for marriage, and working out whether to stay together.
It is important to note that couples counselling is not only for couples who are in crisis, it is an excellent place to learn healthy relationship skills before things get too difficult, preventing breakdowns in the relationship before they happen.
Couples therapy with Shawna follows a structured path — and many couples find the structure itself is part of what helps. You’ll know what each session is for, you’ll leave with practical tools, and there’s often homework between sessions to put them into practice.
When attending couples counselling with our counsellor Shawna, you can expect to experience a warm, non-judgmental space that will allow you to explore the intricacies of your relationship, taking into account both the strengths and the struggles. Having been trained in the Gottman Method, sessions will be structured and tool based, with an emphasis on improving communication, intimacy and friendship.
Free 15-minute consult
Before booking, Shawna offers a free 15-minute virtual consult. It’s a no-pressure way to make sure she’s the right fit for what you and your partner are working through. You can book that on our online-booking platform.
Your Session: 1-4
Session 1 — Your story, together. You’ll meet as a couple. After a brief look at what brings you in, this session is mostly about history — how you met, your strengths, and the struggles you’re facing. Most couples find it a warm, easy start that brings back some good memories.
Session 2 — One-on-one Sessions. Shawna meets with each of you individually to understand your personal history and perspective.
Session 3 — The Sound Relationship House. This session explores what makes a relationship thrive. Together again, you’ll explore the research on healthy, lasting relationships, grounded in the Gottman’s Love Lab research.
Session 4 — Tool Building. From here, the focus shifts to practical skills you can use in everyday life often with handouts to practice in session and homework throughout the week.
Sessions are 50 minutes and available in person at our Dockside clinic in Victoria or virtually across BC — whichever works best for you.
Our Practitioners
Our counselling team takes an empathetic approach to your care and always provide the most up-to-date information and resources. We want to help you on your journey to recovery.
Not sure where to start? Call 250-475-1522, ext 2. and our patient care coordinators will help.
FAQ
Still have more questions? Check out the tabs below. If your questions are still unanswered, please reach out, we love to help get to the root of things.
No. Couples therapy is for any committed relationship, at any stage — dating, common-law, married, or reconciling.
Therapy is most effective with both partners, but individual work on the relationship can still help — and sometimes it’s the first step that brings a hesitant partner in.
Both actually. If the situation allows, Shawna will meet with you both together, then have a one-on-one session with each of you before coming back together again. You can read more about this in the “What to Expect” section above.
Yes. Sessions are available in-person in Victoria or virtually across BC.
Shawna is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC). Many extended health plans cover RCC counselling — check your specific plan for details. We cannot direct bill for this, but you usually can self-submit to your insurance.
It varies. Some couples come for a handful of sessions with a specific goal; others stay longer. You and Shawna set the pace together.